Dark Secrets

Hey!!!! Big Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii to all of you.........................

Such a long time nothing new in my world...same old office...same old problems....now i wont get worried at problems....i know they are always there for me....i wont get angry at my hubby if he comes late to pick me........i wont mind people not speaking to me....Is it a some kind of change in me or its saturation....

Saturation..hmmm..i remember this word with an example.... (which i studied)... if u have taken 500 ml of milk n start adding sugar in it....a time came wen it stop adding more sugar at that time either u have to heat the milk or add some more milk.....so its me a human being..is this happen to you also...a state of mind wen u stop reacting n responding.....tell me

One of my friend said....

" Life is a just a phase in energy transformation from one form to another, so death would be just another energy tranformation phase since energy can never be created nor destroyed, nobody dies and nobody lives they just change forms.As per our ancestors also they say every living being is made up off five thing since it is made up of five things in combination a life has formed which behaves in acertain manner, like any other chemical combination produces a product which behaves in a certain manner ,Emotions is also a sort of chemical reaction in the body, god is present because something must have created all this. talking about soul/spirit it could be just like a part of energy released trapped in the body. for eg if you heat a piece of iron and put in cold walter or oil it releases heat energy in form of vapors and the property of the metal changes. Same may be the case with our bodies the moment we die the part of the energy inside us gets released. just a thought!! "

This made me think on this topic very carefully....

So we all not humans..are energy..lol! (Sorry just kiddin dost)....May be we might be a form of energy which transform wen we die...but if we r energy..then why we become numb wen we upset we shud nt be right....we can compare our soul with a form of energy..but our emotions cannot be chemical reaction result.. if it is then everyone shud react same to one situation...all individual shud think same...As we all say God given everyone the similar mind ..its depends on a person how u use it....if our activities..our emotion result of chemical reaction then we shud react similarly...but this wont happen... if our emotions are just chemical reaction in our body then scientist shud b abl to develop emotions in robot also... One day i asked my father.."there was Lord Ram, Lord Shiv n other Gods who use to live on earth..then they died ..now r they present in sky ...sittin there n watching us...blessing us"...He smiled n said.."Beta..they all are born as Human beings..bt following correct path in life...n never did any wrong thing..always helped other people started praying them n become GOD... now they have gone..not alive...but there tejsay is there...in form of energy..they r nt sitting in sky n watching us..but there is one energy who rules whole world....."

I am agreed that our soul is form of energy ...part of that Vast energy which rule this world... we live n die..then rebirth again...our soul is same..but wen we r gona die...wen rebirth all is ruled by tht energy..GOD.. who is there n watchin, blessing us..bt our emotions are nt chemical reactions ...our body is made of five things...that is for our soul...body is just flesh...n bones..those five elements reflects in our behaviour..if we angry then fire element in role....if we r calm then water..the part of our behaviour which result from the way we think...is result of those five elements or we can say compared wid five elements.. which comprises this earth..Hope i tried my best to elaborate this topic..Your comment is invited

Everyday is not same...some days are hot...wheather is really hot nowadays...thank god rain is there...

God has solution of everything....if he creates a problem for you....he has solution also...believe it.. YEsterday i was goin home...i took a rikshaw...the driver was a child of 5 yrs...near abut 4 feet in height .. his clothes were dirty...............Wen he reached a playground...all the children started teasing him ... he just smiled...n his eyes filled with tears...i saw those tears......

That was not just a child...he was future of our India...n this is the future we are giving to the country which is our own.........It was his age to play...study...to smile...n he has tears in his eyes....

Hey we all are Great!!! .....we r so busy to earn lots of money n save it from TAX...did we ever bother abut this..sorry no time..we have time for stupid relations which hurts us..bt not for this..Guys wake up...Only we can do smthing for these childrens..Hey its our country future..please stop it from being spoiled.. We together can do smthing...We never bother abut anything..we say Oh Politics..Its corrupted...did we ever voted..? On the day of Voting we would be handling our US or UK clients...This is are Country so please wake up n do something..Its time to wake up..n Give smile to those who cried out their heart...We can help..n we shud

PS : For you Gagan...

I agreed that all great peoples are suceeded just cuz of their hard work..but did u know today parents teach there children how to beg so tht they can have enough money for their drink....they sell their daughter in market just for 10,000 rupees...look like u never see news...never heard such kind of things....you would be sad to know that world had change dear....n u shud be grateful to GOD tht u r in gud society where just wid hard work u reached ur destination...till today they sell girls in market at age of 10 yrs....till now they kill a new born baby if its girl ...look like u living in some different world..wake up n see reality is far different from this dream.. N u know the all charity firm for childrens...they deposit money in their bank... behave so badly wid children .. all waste ..samjhe..so our social structure is not sustainable to handle this on other hand is waste n useless....

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in very sexy

nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want." So he

tied her up and went golfing.

**********

A woman came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the

house. She slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, "Honey,

pack your bags. I won the lottery!" The husband said, "Oh my God! What

should I pack, beach stuff or mountain stuff?" "Doesn't matter," she said.

Just get out."

**********

Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the

other is a husband.

**********

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First,

of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card

with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked. "Read it?" the Polish guy replied,

"I know the guy."

**********

A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her

husb and burst into the kitchen. "Careful," he said, "CAREFUL! Put in some

more butter! Oh my GOD! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn

them! TURN THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my GOD! WHERE are we going to get MORE BUTTER? They're going to! STICK! Careful . CAREFUL! I said be

CAREFUL! You NEVER listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them!

Hurry up! Are you CRAZY? Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them.

You know you always forget to salt them. Use the salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!"

The wife stared at him. "What in the world is wrong with you? You think I

don't know how to fry a couple of eggs?"

The husband calmly replied, "I just wanted to show you what it feels like

when I'm driving."

Keep Smiling

One of friend read my blog and said.....

"i feel everybody has good life. Look carefully happiness is standing next to you. just take a look and you will find it. "

so we analyse this....Everyone has good life..agreed...then why mishappening happened to me ...i also have friends who have a simple n calm life..why there r problems wid me only?....so do u think i m person who dont think positive..? who dont want to look for happiness...? Inspite of all problems n issues i always hoped ...everything happen for a good reason....bt why nothing good happen wid me....

I married the person i love still i m nt happy...wats the reason...

I know expectation...why we all stupid people on earth set expectations....?

I expect a person who understands me....a family who supports me...friends who care for me...Am i expecting smthing which cannot be given..it can be....then why i m nt happy....

Yes they all loves me...supports me....care for me...bt nt upto my expectation..they do it according to themselves..i smile everyday in morning..but deep inside i dont feel like it..i want to cry..bt i cant..cuz the person whom i married cant see me crying....the tears r dried now...sometime i dont feel like smiling but i have to..n i hate this...

We always say hope for best....wat if ur hope dies......

If u ask a person abut there memorable day....he/she may say "hey its my childhood"....for me..i never lived those days...to which i ever want to go back.....I am nt a normal person...whether its my luck or destiny...obstacles are always there... even if the road is clean....still i fell down....God knows why he do this with me..... ................ In my memories there is no day of my childhood which i want to live again.....one thing which i remember is pain..tears....

I use to broke everything into many pieces....glasses....plates...showpieces...pots...accidently....dont know how..? now people break me into pieces...dnt know why...? Nobody can tolerate this so as my mother..she use to shout at me...beat me...n i used to cry.....U know what..God had always been unfair to me bt still i trust him...why..?...i Cry n remember god......then one day...i heard a story of Cinderalla....a small girl who is in pain..n god sended her prince to rescue her.....since that day i started hopin for rescue...wenever smthin bad happen to me...i cried my heart out n tell myself...tht one day..my prince will come...n rescue me....

Hope...a feeling which tell you to live....which make u understand ki sab thik ho jayega....evrythin happen for a gud reason...bt a person is nt happy...then how tht thing can b gud....anyways...so i was hopin for my prince...... to come .. to hold my hand....to change my world....everythin around me....n one day he came...tall ..with small eyes...dark...handsome....i can see his soul wen i see into his eyes...he came....to rescue me...to give me all happiness .. to make me smile...to share my pain....i want to smile as i never smiled before....i want to live as i never lived before... i want to fly.....But i forgot one thing that Cinderalla was a story...n I am nt a character of story...i m a living person.. there is no prince who can change ur life...u born...n now u have to live this life...there is no hope to rescue......he didnt came to rescue me....he came cuz....he want to teach me...tht stop living in dreams...face reality.......

So u never b abl to rescue from ur worries...tensions...pain...n my best friend tears...they alwayz b wid u...n u hv to live .. nobody will rescue u.....nobody will come...now u r trapped in this life..only one thing can rescue u frm this miserabl life n tht is Death...why people fear death if they have no hope for rescue...Trust me u can read other blogs also noone is happy in this world...so why fear death...it wud give peace...there wud be no pain....no worries...no hope....so atleast this time god will rescue me from this life.....

I was watchin a Lughter programme on TV yesterday...thank god now u can watch more of them...we got rid from saas-bahu serials finally....it made me laugh...n yes i can laugh loud than my hubby....but a thought came into my mind....Does this Laughter programmes can really make us laugh real?...so here is the Analysis.....

These programmes consist of stupid jokes..which have no sense n we laugh cuz we got some sense...funny...but that laugh is not real....

A real laugh is somthin which comes from within...a laugh wen ur eyes filled with emotion..love..pain..grief bt on this jokes wen I am laughin...my eyes were blank no emotions...means my mind is nt working at that time...... this means these programmes can not make us real laugh...they can just steal our thoughts... our mind stops..nt thinkin abut all tensions...n problems which we have it just refresh us.....we can think only those jokes n laugh on that....

When I m with my loved one...wen i saw my parents...a very old lost friend....n my hubby..the emotions are there in my eyes...at that time if i laugh thats real....

Do u also think the same...so try to meet ur loved one n get ur real laugh again...else may be u lost ur laugh somewhere as this world is really cruel....so make sure u have real laugh once a week so that u remain alive...u wont become numb...a person who lives without emotions....

The rules for being human You will receive a body – You may like it or hate it, but it will be your for the entire period of this time around.

You will learn lessons – You are enrolled in a full time information school called life. Each day in this school you will have the opportunity to learn lessons. You may like the lessons or think them irrelevant and stupid.

There are no mistakes, only lessons – Growth is the process of trial and error: Experimentation. The failed experiments are as much the part of the process as the experiment that ultimately works.

A lesson is repeated until learned – A lesson will be presented to you in many forms until you have leaned it. When you have leaned it, you can then go on to next lesson.

Learning lessons does not end – There is no part of life that does not contain it’s lessons. If you are alive, there are lessons to be learned.

“There” is no better than “here” – When your there has become here, you will simply obtain another “there”, that will again look better then “here”.

Others are merely mirrors of you. – You cannon love or hate something about another person unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself.

What you make of your life is up to you. – You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. The choice is yours.

Your answers lie inside you. – The answers to life’s questions lie inside you. All you need is to do look, listen and trust.

You will forget all this.

Wen I born....i didnt remember anything but yes i m sure that was the best part of my life...everyone loves me... care for me..... n talk to me a lot. (wen i grown up those relatives n family member hardly get enough time to talk to me thats why i have friends)..........

Situation is same... I reborn again....dont jump to any conclusion... I Got Married...

I was wearing a pink color Lehnga....with lots of heavy jewellery ..n i was lookin beautiful... really...n he is lookin Dashin.. 6 feet.. Tall.. Dark.. Handsome...with little sweet shining eyes......massa on left cheek.......n yes kharus wali smile.......on 28 April 2007

Finally the BIG day arrived....for which we fought for last 3 years.....arguements..tears....pain....then atlast smile...as per saying.."ant bhala to sab bhala".......

Its a new birth for me.....i m scared....really dont know how everyone behaVES with me in new home...just like a new born baby..everyone shows love for me....care for me...n talkin....n of course how can i 4get Muhdekhaieee..... Huh.. its like i am new showpiece everyone come to see n then left comments..some good...funny....aache wale.........

I m feeling complete after this birth...happy from inside....my soul is happy.....

About my new family...

Husband... Kharus
Mother in Law --- Just like my MOM
Father In Law --- Maharaja Akbar of Mugle-e-Azaam
Sister In Law --- Anil Kapoor's SIS of Tezaab
Brother in Law -- My little Baby... sweet... innocent....caring...n bahut jayada aacha....thank god i find one person in that house more than my expectation...God Bless Him alwayz...Just want to see him smile n happy always.............

Today is my last day at Sapient.......i remember my last day at Samsung..last year...still i am living in that moment.....everybody is crying..huging...till today i can feel that in me...Here in Sapient peoples are more professional...this is wat i learned from Sapient..be professional at work...so that u wont create a scene on ur last day...which is created at Samsung time..everybody is cryin...oh god..why i get attached to people easily..i hate to get departed from them............i hate pain..tears..agony..inside me..i hate it..i hate hate also......

What we left behind is important...love..hate..pain..tears..or a cute smile...

What i left behind i dont know...but i always tried to left smile on everybody face..i know its really hard to smile..wen ur brain n heart is goin in different directions...wen ur heart is not able to answer all questions asked by ur mind....wen u have no defence points to give to ur brain for ur own decisions...its hard to survive..but see we r surviving..so its not hard to smile...a smile on ur face..itseld reduces ur worries...ur problems to half...so keep smilin..u never know which moment is goin to be the last one..the best is u keep smilin..give ur all..given ur fullest...n live rest to god..he has always something good planned for us...

It really makes me feel good wen people miss me..coz i miss some badly..i need some always around me..i never express things inside me..wiase to I am a extrovert person..but wen it come to express myself..i am worse in this..i never express my love...grattitude..my affection..to anybody...i am quiet..i expect people to express themselves in front of me..n then simply i can say..me too..how stupid of me...its not my ego which wont make me express myself..its my past..my childhood...

After a long fight with my parents..as they r not allowin me to attend her weddin..but i fighted...n finally i attended her weddin..sometime i use to feel that..i shuld born in USA or somewhere like that..where there is no obligation on me...i hate them...anywayz..get back to subject...

I am too excited as he is also comin in this wedding..i got my dress drycleaned...gone to parlour for three hours..rolled my hairs..as my hairs are straight...just straight..i hate straight hairs..i reached there...i saw her..she is lookin damn good...beautiful..n her hubby was also good..nice lookin...

But my man is lookin hot...handsome..he always looks smart to me watever he wears...coz i love him..n wenever i saw him i never saw his physique..looks ..i saw his soul..his heart..n his love.which makes him most special person on this earth...

I danced like mad..continoulsy...it was a great evening..i loved it...but he didnt talk to me..he dropped me home also..so he came in my fav car..esteem in blue color..why blue..dear blue is my fav color..i am mad for blue...

Wen i reached home my mom shouted like mad..i hate her for this..cant i get rid of this ..i hate this..why she always shout on me..i am not her full time servant paid for listening abuses..i hate her for this for my whole life...anywayz there is lot to say..better left it unsaid..............

So today i am goin to confess biggest secret of my life...n woh hai..I love him..he never ever understand this i know..but i love him a lot..more than anything else in this world..more than anything...i love him..n keep loving him always.....yesterday was his birthday..n we celebrated it together..may be this is the last birthday which we r celebratin together ..so i given my fullest to it..my everything...i loved him passionately....i kissed him...........i hugged him...just i never done this before......

He is world for me..everything for me..people often live for others..i cant live for others..i only live for him...he is everything..he is everywhere...he changed everything..for me...he made me more intelligent..n more hardworking....always with me.....

My world....he is my world..my everything..my hearts beat for him..n this wat i wanna to say

If I could have just one wish,

I would wish to wake up everyday

to the sound of your breath on my neck,

the warmth of your lips on my cheek,

the touch of your fingers on my skin,

and the feel of your heart beating with mine...

Knowing that I could never find that feeling

with anyone other than you

Its killin me from the day..one of my fellow given me the idea...n believe me..i am really scared..but as its a process in our company..so i have to follow it..but why i dont know..

I am confident n strong..but i also know wats my week point..i dont want other person tellin me that.. actually..i really hate failures..n the idea of failures..kills me like nothing...ya its a one situation which u shuld learn to face..cant we skip this one..?..i am lookin for lame excuses....

Thank God ...u r there for me..god helped me..n my PM has to leave early yesterday..so my track lead is supposed to take that thing for me..he is really a nice person..very nice u can say..i never came across a person like him..the way he says things..try to make me understand is great..even i didnt felt bad abut anything he said..the real thing is i love the way he explains things to me..he is the perfect track lead..

The Appreciation is felt but left unsaid........

so he told me abut my positives..which is more than negative..n my negatives..n the saddest part is my company has no future plan for me..after this contract end..i have to leave....

So again searching a job..bad idea..i hate this idea...anywayz..i have to do this..i search for me...

The thing which i noticing form past few days..even last year march i am searching for a job..now this year march also i am searchin for the one..bad thing..suck i forget to call my friend..she is suppose to tell me abut one opening..see i started workin towards this also..i know whatever happen is happen for a good..cant i work here for more few monts..

I like this company..culture..people around..environment...whereever i go..this is the best palce to work.. i love it always....God anything can be done on this behalf...?......

Forget again..Happy Valentine Day....keep smiling...

So yesterday we won the match.which makes me feel good....keep it up India.....

It was evening...a evening filled with fear..pain..agony..sadness...n a stare...my eyes r empty..n lookin for something....i am starin..a stare of thoughts..a stare of questions..a stare of seekin answers.....they are there...then i saw these little stars...

Little stars on earth..they shine..n tell me that they are with me..if everyone is aganist me..they r still there for me..they r my true companion..true friends..i just looked at them..n remember the all those lonely moments..wen i am seeking for a friend...i am seekin for someone shoulder to cry..but no one is there... wen first time my heart is broken into several pieces..they r still there n sayin that watever happen is happen for good..........n they smiled..wen again my heart shattered into several pieves.. then they said that...everything will be fine ..just have patience..but i dont have it..i have right to live..i need answers right now..to my every question..n they just smiled......

Wen i am confused..there r several roads to take..n i dont know which road to go..i cant trust anybody.. this is my biggest problem..even i cant trust myself....i cant trust anybody...so i asked them which road to choose..they always said..whichever road u go never regert for leaving the other...n i done that only.....n they again smiled...

They r still with me..always with me..n remain with me..my little stars

So today it was the badest dream...i was wonerin..whether its a dream or real..i started talkin..one thing which i always know..that i never loose my full consciousness durin dream..yes something is goin on.. if something which is not supposed to happen .i dreamt..then my mind keep on answerin..me..or tellin..this is not possible its a dream...

Sometime i felt that i can never dream..wen i lost my full consciousness..i cant remember where i was.. my mind is blank for that sleep..complete blank..n the dreams which i remembered is not a complete dream...

series is goin on..n the picture is runnin in front of me...if something unusual happen ..my mind says quickly..dont worry its a dream...yes i sleep a lot..i am a biggets lazy n sleepy person..but still dreams ..i am always untouched by them...may be one day i dream something n my mind wont work at that time..

Does this happen to you also..? Or god has not gifted me the dreams in my closed eyes....?

Today i am really feelin very sleepy...oh i really dont wanna come out of bed..but i have to..otherwise i'll miss my bus.....somehow.......

There is something in our life which we want to achieve..i saw a lady riding a bicycle..may be she want to achieve something at any cost..n that was her madness...one of my friend workin our office worked for 3 days continously as there is lots of work to do....n wen surprisingly i asked him why..? he replied "work is my passion..my madness.."

Hey u can also say..our reason for livin is our madness....a reason which we r living for...a dream which we want to get fulfilled at any cost...we can go upto any extent..do crazy things...ya its madness...

Mine is him...i want to spend my whole life with him...n i can go upto any extent for this.can do crazy things for this...u can call it my madness..becoz he is just not a reason for living...he is life for me.....

Hey..wats ur madness dear...? or u r just living aimless....? crave for it..try to figure it out..there must be something..believe me.....

Its dark..n i am starvin for a light..a ray of hope..there is a strom..which is waitin me to leave the thing.. n that strom destroy everything..but i want let it do that.....becoz i am want it....

They didnt want..they still want to live in darkness..with the virtual lights all around..with a lie.. dont want to look for the truth..why didnt that itched in there eyes...?..why didnt they want to see it..? comon its true n u have to face it..u have to..why u r hidin urself from this.....? why..?

They always put there curtains down...but that cant hide it..it will come in front of them once...stood in front of them..then wat will they do..? tehy cant neglect it..they have to face it...they have to...becoz it is truth...n truth cant be neglected...u have to face it..u have to see it....u need to....

We always leave with the things which we want to live...sometime we r not ready to accept the truth... the reality..becoz its against us..n thats why we are drawin the curtains..not want to face it...dont want to see wats is behind them..just want to live with fact ..which we want to see.....

But one day we have to...we have to see behind that curtain....sometime its painful..sometime its horrible..sometime..its hurts..but it was the thing which we r missing...

Yes I am wrokin in a MNC..got good parents..lots of friends around me..a sweet hubby...but still learning to live....but still something is missin...have u ever talked to urself..? wat is missin exactly...sometime we thought its our mistake...now we learned a lesson..now it will not happen again .. DO u really smile wen u see ur face in mirror every morning?..or u see ur face expressionless...or sometime sad..sometime..dont want to look...have you ever realized is this is the life which u r living?..this is wat u wanted?..this wat u deserved..?..this is wat called happiness..?...

Or u still missin the real thing..just put off the curtains..u'll see the truth..just check on...whether this is wat is for you...dont live in illusion ..dont live becoz u think watever happen is happen for good...no it happened..n u have to find out why this happened...? u need to know wats the reason behind this...

R u still cravin for the things..r u living for urself or others..?..just ask urself...may be ur also not dare to look behind the curtain....believe me its not hard...I am not sayin just live for urself..stop thinkin abut ur loved ones...but if u cry ..if they hurt u..believe me u wont deserve such relation....life is to smile not to cry ..so live it to fullest...so look behind the curtain may be u find out wat u r missin ..? or something which makes u smile..may be u find ur happiness...just look ....

PS: This all came into my mind wen i am travellin in my way to office in our bus..one of fellow just drwan the curtain to avoid the sun light...which comin in form the window.......Hope u'll enjoy this

Its since a long time i posted anything ...so today somehow i got some time....i was wishin my readers is hopin me to post something..there is always a hope....Hope ...really such a small word with lots of meaning traped in itself......

A begger is beggin with the hope that he'll get enough to arrange food for himself today....

An unemployed tried n put all his efforts to find a job with the hope he'll get it...

A labour work hard with the hope that he earn enough to cope with his trouble...

A flower blsooms with the hope that people admire its fragnance n beauty...

A bird sing with the hope that people love to listen it....

U r reading it with the hope that u get some good stuff to read..

N I am writin with the hope that u'll read....n realize that there is always a hope..

There is always a hope..never ever loose it..becoz there is always a ray of light in the darkest ...there is always a morning after dark night..never loose a hope..try ur best to save....so that u'll never regert of anything in life...

Coz we got one life to live not to regert n complain......

It’s my life

This ain’t a song for the broken-hearted
No silent prayer for the faith-departed
I ain’t gonna be just a face in the crowd
You’re gonna hear my voice
When I shout it out loud

It’s my life
It’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like frankie said
I did it my way
I just wanna live while I’m alive
It’s my life

This is for the ones who stood their ground
For tommy and gina who never backed down
Tomorrow’s getting harder make no mistake
Luck ain’t even lucky
Got to make your own breaks

It’s my life
And it’s now or never
I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I’m alive
’cause it’s my life

Better stand tall when they’re calling you out
Don’t bend, don’t break, baby, don’t back down

It’s my life
And it’s now or never
’cause I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I’m alive

It’s my life
And it’s now or never
’cause I ain’t gonna live forever
I just want to live while I’m alive
It’s my life
My heart is like an open highway
Like frankie said
I did it my way
I just want to live while I’m alive
’cause it’s my life!
____________________________________________

Bed Of Roses

Sitting here wasted and wounded
At this old piano
Trying hard to capture
The moment this morning I don’t know
’cause a bottle of vodka
Is still lodged in my head
And some blond gave me nightmares
I think she’s still in my bed
As I dream about movies
They won’t make of me when I’m dead

With an ironclad fist I wake up and
French kiss the morning
While some marching band keeps
Its own beat in my head
While we’re talking
About all of the things that I long to believe
About love and the truth and
What you mean to me
And the truth is baby you’re all that I need

I want to lay you on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
And lay you down on bed of roses

Well I’m so far away
That each step that I take is on my way home
A king’s ransom in dimes I’d given each night
Just to see through this payphone
Still I run out of time
Or it’s hard to get through
Till the bird on the wire flies me back to you
I’ll just close my eyes and whisper,
Baby blind love is true

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
And lay you down on bed of roses

The hotel bar hangover whiskey’s gone dry
The barkeeper’s wig’s crooked
And she’s giving me the eye
I might have said yeah
But I laughed so hard I think I died

When you close your eyes
Know I’ll be thinking about you
While my mistress she calls me
To stand in her spotlight again
Tonite I won’t be alone
But you know that don’t
Mean I’m not lonely I’ve got nothing to prove
For it’s you that I’d die to defend

I want to lay you down on a bed of roses
For tonite I sleep on a bed on nails
I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is
And lay you down on bed of roses
____________________________________________

I guess this time you’re really leaving
I heard your suitcase say goodbye
And as my broken heart lies bleeding
You say true love in suicide

You say you’ve cried a thousand rivers
And now you’re swimming for the shore
You left me drowning in my tears
And you won’t save me anymore

Now I’m praying to God you’ll give me one more chance, girl

I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you
I’d live and I’d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what a love can do
I’ll be there for you

I know you know we’ve had some good times
How they have their own hiding place
I can promise you tomorrow
But I can’t buy back yesterday

And baby you know my hands are dirty
But I wanted to be your valentine
I’ll be the water when you get thirsty, baby
When you get drink, I’ll be the wine

I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you
I’d live and I’d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what a love can do
I’ll be there for you

And I wan’t there when you were happy
I wasn’t there when you were down
I didn’t mean to miss your birthday, baby
I wish I’d seen you blow those candles out

I’ll be there for you
These five words I swear to you
When you breathe I want to be the air for you
I’ll be there for you
I’d live and I’d die for you
Steal the sun from the sky for you
Words can’t say what a love can do
I’ll be there for you

I’ve had my share of it, and now, I am worn-out,

My heart feels heavy,

Laden with what? I will never know..

Maybe it is, the secrets I keep,

Or worst still those I reveal.

There is no cause for this veiled melancholy,

I have joy and love and life itself

All of which are worthy of celebration

Yet seem to fall short when I’m in despair.

I love my laughter!

Sometimes loud yet controlled

Sometimes silent with faint traces of hiccups to give it away

Yet always sure to bring a smile to my face, when I think about how happy I feel.

But in a flash

It can just disappear

And a sombre expression replaces it

The nightmares persist sometimes worse than ever,

So I write.

And hope that catharsis will neutralise

The fright that sometimes overwhelms me.

But I search for a reason.

An explanation

A cause

And an answer

That I fear I will never find

An atheist professor of philosophy speaks to his class on the problem science has with God, The Almighty. He asks one of his new students to stand and.....

Prof:
So you believe in God?

Student:
Absolutely, sir.

Prof:
Is God good?

Student:
Sure.

Prof:
Is God all-powerful?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
My brother died of cancer even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is
this God good then? Hmm?
(Student is silent.)

Prof:
You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
Is Satan good?

Student:
No.

Prof:
Where does Satan come from?

Student:
From...God...

Prof:
That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
So who created evil?
(Student does not answer.)

Prof:
Is there sickness? Immorality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?

Student:
Yes, sir.

Prof:
So, who created them?
(Student has no answer.)

Prof:
Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son...Have you ever seen God?

Student:
No, sir.

Prof:
Tell us if you have ever heard your God?

Student:
No, sir.

Prof:
Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God for that matter?

Student:
No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.

Prof:
Yet you still believe in Him?

Student:
Yes.

Prof:
According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, science says your GOD doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?

Student:
Nothing. I only have my faith.

Prof:
Yes. Faith. And that is the problem science has.

Student:
Professor, is there such a thing as heat?

Prof:
Yes.

Student:
And is there such a thing as cold?

Prof:
Yes.

Student:
No sir. There isn't. (The lecture theatre becomes very quiet with this turn of events.)

Student:
Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 degrees below zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
(There is pin-drop silence in the lecture theatre.)

Student:
What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?

Prof:
Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?

Student :
You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have low light, normal light, bright light, flashing light....But if you have no light constantly, you have nothing and it's called darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it were you would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?

Prof:
So what is the point you are making, young man?

Student:
Sir, my point is your philosophical premise is flawed.

Prof:
Flawed? Can you explain how?

Student:
Sir, you are working on the premise of duality. You argue there is life and then there is death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one.To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life: just the absence of it.
Now tell me, Professor.Do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?

Prof:
If you are referring to the natural evolutionary process, yes, of course, I do.

Student:
Have you ever observed evolution with your own eyes, sir?
(The Professor shakes his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument is going.)

Student:
Since no one has ever observed the process of evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a scientist but a preacher?
(The class is in uproar.)

Student:
Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
(The class breaks out into laughter.)

Student:
Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established rules of empirical, stable, demonstrable protocol, science says that you have no brain,sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures, sir?
(The room is silent. The professor stares at the student, his face unfathomable.)

Prof:
I guess you'll have to take them on faith, son.

Student:
That is it sir... The link between man & god is FAITH. That is all that keeps things moving & alive.

Most of us often try to HAVE more things in order to DO more of what we want, so that we will BE happier.

The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first BE who you really are, then DO what you need to do in order to HAVE what you want.

As I was passing the elephants, I suddenly stopped, confused by the
fact
that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied
to their
front leg.

No chains, no cages. It was obvious that the elephants could, at
anytime,
break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

I saw a trainer near by and asked why these beautiful, magnificent
animals
just stood there and made no attempt to get away.

"Well," he said, "when they are very young and much smaller we use
the same
size rope to tie them and, at that age, it's enough to hold them.

As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break
away.

They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break
free."

I was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their
bonds
but because they believed they couldn't, they were stuck right where
they
were.

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a
belief
that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once
before?

If your answer is yes, try again. Might be this time the rope is too
weak
for holding you back!!

If I were....

If I were a beginning, I would be: “It is a sin to write this.”

If I were a month, I would be: Feb

If I were a day of the week, I would be: Sunday
If I were a time of day, I would be: a lazy afternoon.

If I were a planet, I would be: Pluto.

If I were a season, I would be: winter.

If I were a sea animal, I would be: wet.

If I were a direction, I would be: North.

If I were a piece of furniture, I would be: a couch.

If I were a sin, I would be: proud.

If I were a liquid, I would be: coke.

If I were a fraud/scare, I would be: rich.

If I were a gem, I would be: jade.

If I were a tree, I would be: a Christmas tree.

If I were a tool, I would be a: lever.

If I were a flower/plant, I would be: a daffodil.

If I were a kind of weather, I would be: rainy.

If I were a musical instrument, I would be: violine.

If I were an animal, I would be: squirrel.

If I were an emotion, I would be: love.

If I were a vegetable, I would be: capsicum.

If I were a sound, I would be: rain drops falling on a puddle of water.

If I were an element, I would be: radium.

If I were a car, I would be: fast.

If I were a song, I would be: “Dil Kya kare jab kissi ko kissi se pyar ho jaye…”

If I were a food, I would be: Shahi Panner.

If I were a place, I would be: my home.

If I were a material, I would be: cotton.

If I were a taste, I would be: spicy.

If I were a scent, I would be: the smell of earth after the rain.

If I were a religion, I would be: the last one.

If I were a sentence, I would be: lucid.

If I were a body part, I would be: a pair of eyes.

If I were a facial expression, I would be: happy.

If I were a subject in school, I would be: Drawing.

If I were a shape, I would be: square.

If I were a quantity, I would be: 3,821.

If I were a color, I would be: blue.

If I were a thing, I would be: me.

If I were a landmass, I would be: drifting.

If I were a book, I would be: Anthem.

If I were a monument, I would be: Pyramid.

If I were an artist, I would be: playing voiline.

If I were a collection of poems, I would be: a little more educated.

If I were a landscape, I would be: waiting for the rain.

If I were a watch, I would be: never late.

If I were God, I would be: Surprised!

If I were a vowel, I would be: an I.

If I were a consonant, I would be: Z.

If I were a formula, I would be: (a + b)^2=??

If I were a Science, I would be: math.

If I were a theory, I would be: easy to prove.

If I were a famous person, I would be: Mother Terasa.

If I were an electronic equipment, I would be: Mobile.

If I were sport, I would be: Badminton.

If I were a movie, I would be: Wastav

If I were a cartoon, I would be: jerry

If I were an explorer, I would be: Indiana Jones.

If I were a scientist, I would be: Shannon.

If I were a relation, I would be: a friend.

If I were a river, I would be: meandering along.

If I were intoxication, I would be: words.

If I were alone, I would be: myself.

If I were a question, then I would be: how?

If I were a hobby, I would be: music.

If I were a habit, I would be: lazy.

If I were in an atom, I would be: an electron.

If I were an end, I would: melodramatic!

If I were you, I would be: having no life.